no pub night, some cat talk

for some reason we aren't going out tonight...

Wouldn't it be funny if tooth-whitening gel made people's teeth fall out in addition to getting whiter, or if it was actually dogshit instead of tooth gel. Maybe it really is just crushed up old dog shit.
Anyway, I was just wishing something like that was true when I saw one of those teeth whitening commercials.
Or that a bear would attack the woman...

I am in a foul mood, which I guess is what happens when I haven't had a chance to vent some steam...

Whenever I get really annoyed I get some kind of allergic reaction, almost as if I am allergic to annoyances. I should wear a medic alert bracelet that says, "in case of annoyance, lie down immediately and have a drink, try to avoid annoying things such as george bush, james woods, and the view; especially that star one"

I could list so many more, but this isn't the amazing list of annoying things. If it were I would dressed like a clown (and who says I'm not) and some dogs would be playing poker while juggling cats.
Stinkin' cats.
Just kidding. I like cats alright I guess. It's just that I am allergic to them, which is really more annoying because of the reactions of the owners rather than my physical reactions.
(for some reason it was REALLY hard to type that)
They usually say something like, "oh you don't like cats?"
And then I look around the room uncomfortably as everyone stares at me questioningly... and I say, "well, it's not that I don't like them, it's that I am physically sickened by them."
This usually results in a confused look and then they say,
"but my [interject some stupid cat name... fuzzy, sweetie, puffy, whatever] is so nice. He/she/it is the best cat ever!"

Somehow I manage to roll my eyes without them seeing. I mutter, "yes, your cat is great. Let's change the subject now. When my time comes I will just drag myself into some corner to wheeze and hack and die."

Then they laugh and say I'm funny and I spend the rest of the night running away from the cat. Everyone thinks I am being silly. I want to kill something. For some reason, not the cat. It's not the cat's fault that they have to have owners. It's the way it is.

And we both have to suffer for it.