Maybe I should clarify what I mean by lonely...

I have friend's and interests, and have had several jobs since I moved here, I also went to McGill to take a few extra classes. So, I have gotten out and been around the block.
But through all of this, I have always had this feeling of isolation. It has to do with everything always being new, and never getting to be the expert on anything about this city. Even if it has been a few years, I have really only scratched the surface of all there is to Montreal. I feel like an alien all of the time and at home, some of the time.

If you have ever been to small town Saskatchewan, you would see how much of a culture shock moving here would be.
In all of the 22 years that I lived on my block, we had new neighbours a maximum of ten times.
Things don't change all that often in small-town western suburbia.
We moved once when I was in grade ten, and it was down the street.
My aunt lived on our block for a while.

I think my point is that now I am getting used to having a million different neighbours and that they are constantly changing. Needless to say, it's hard to keep track of the students who keep moving in and out of our neighbourhood. I just smile at evryone now, just in case someone is my new neighbour.

So, when I was talking about being lonely, it is more a lonliness of the soul... that sounds like a hallmark card, "here's a kind thought to help the lonliness of your soul."
Yuck.
I have also found marriage to be an isolating thing. I never wanted to get married and then found myself married. It's a long story, but all I know is that marriage is so much stranger than I had ever imagined. Mostly in how other people treat you. Suddenly you are not an individual, you are a pair. And now you are only supposed to rely on one person for many things, instead of like when I was single and I was allowed to rely on all of my friend's and family.
Also, there are always the few friends who refuse to accept the marriage and you grow apart. Or else they think you have changed and treat you like an old married couple.
That's the part that is most isolating, is the assumption that because you are married your life is an endless amount of fun and satisfaction.
I guess that is why I never believed in marriage for myself.
At least now I can warn others...
(ha,ha)

Most of the time I feel happy that I have made this great change in my life. Moving across the country with no family or friends can be seen as very brave...

or incredibly stupid.

But all that matters is that I am accepting of both kinds of experiences in my life.
Brave or stupid...

just as long as I am experiencing something and not hanging in an endless void, which is a little bit the problem these days.
If I was back home I would probably find it easier to remedy this isolation, but here I am over-whelmed by the possibilities.

Sometimes it just feels like too much and I wonder how some people can move to a new city every couple of years... seems like needless torture to me.

Maybe I have clarified what I mean by lonely or maybe I have just confused myself...

the sun is setting now and I have to go watch it.